Satire

Gambling Addicted Falkor’s Story Ends in Vegas Alley

A photo from Falkor’s Instagram account.

Las Vegas, NV—He used to soar through the sky. Together with Atreyu, Falkor defeated the Nothing. However, after crossing to Earth, the Luckdragon settled in among the lights of Las Vegas and discovered, much to his dismay, that the Nothing was far more insidious.

“Every night, man,” said Jonnie Alvarez. “Falkor’d be making the rounds. Roulette, slots, blackjack. Blackjack was his fav. He was doing real good. And, then. Well, you know how this story goes.”

Falkor started losing and maxing out his credit cards. After he was evicted from his one-bedroom apartment west of the Strip, Falkor began sleeping on the balconies of various buildings throughout the city. It was a common experience for people to open their shades and see a huge, hungover dragon draped over their railings. Rehab didn’t work. Falkor took loans from a few well-connected individuals. The Nothing found a way inside.

On a rainy Sunday morning, Falkor, the Luckdragon was found in the alley behind an American Apparel. When word reached Fantastica, the Childlike Empress responded, “He didn’t understand that he was the one who had the power to stop it. He simply couldn’t imagine that one little luck dragon could be that important.”

A service will be held on Earth and a monument will be sculpted by the Rockeaters in Fantastica.

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